Cybersecurity

A collection of 176 posts

Cybersecurity

An AI Found Holes In Your Text Editor. Yes, Your Text Editor. I Need To Sit Down.

I have been in this field for thirty-one years. I have survived the Morris Worm, the Great Buffer Overflow Epidemic of the late nineties, and three separate IT directors who thought a Post-it note qualified as a password policy. I thought I had seen everything. I had not seen everything.

Cybersecurity

Storm Brews Over That Telegram Flaw Nobody Asked For But Here We Are

Oh good. A no-click flaw. My absolute favorite kind. Because apparently the flock wasn't already doing enough damage by actively clicking things, now the wolves can get them without any participation required. Zero effort. Just existing on Telegram is enough. Beautiful. Here's the deal: a researcher

Cybersecurity

FBI Director's Personal Inbox Just Got COOKED and Honestly?? The Vibes Are Catastrophic 😭🐑

Okay so I was literally just vibing in the Sky Pasture this morning, sipping my matcha, when this news dropped and I SCREAMED. No cap. I physically put my oat latte down. The Handala wolves, running with Iranian energy, just absolutely COOKED the personal email inbox of the FBI Director.

Cybersecurity

The Wolf Hacked The Shepherd's Personal Hay Notes (And I Am Not Even Surprised)

Oh good. OH GOOD. The director of the FBI, the person whose entire job is to understand and prevent exactly this kind of thing, got his personal email cracked open like a bag of unguarded grain. By wolves. With a name. They have a WEBSITE. I've been awake

Cybersecurity

GenieLocker: Someone Wished For 70 Russian Networks to Have a Very Bad Day

Oh good. Another ransomware crew. Just what I needed to read at 4am while my third coffee goes cold and my ticket queue silently mocks me from the other monitor. So here's the deal. A pro-Ukrainian group called Bearlyfy, also going by "Labubu" apparently, has been

Cybersecurity

Ajax FC Got Cooked and Honestly the Vibes Are TRAGIC 😭⚽

Okay bestie I am SPIRALING. Like I woke up, opened my phone, and saw that Ajax Amsterdam, a WHOLE professional football club, got absolutely bodied by a wolf who just waltzed through their IT systems like it was an open pasture. No cap, this is giving "left the gate

Cybersecurity

The AI Sheep-Whisperer: How Any Website Could Put Words In Your Flock's Mouth

I have been warning about browser extensions since Netscape Navigator was considered cutting-edge technology. Nobody listened then. Nobody listens now. Researchers at Koi Security disclosed a rather spectacular hole in the fence affecting Anthropic's Claude Chrome Extension. The short version: any website, any website at all, could silently

Cybersecurity

Tax Season Wolves: When The Flock Googles "Free Tax Forms" And Installs A Full Infestation

Oh good. Tax season. My absolute favorite time of year, when the Lambs collectively decide that Google is a trusted government resource and click on literally anything that says "IRS" in the ad copy. I found out about this campaign at 2 AM. I was already awake. I&

Cybersecurity

CanisterWorm Just Said "No Thanks" to Iranian Cloud Vibes and Honestly? The Drama Is Immense 😭🐑

Okay so I was literally mid-sip of my matcha this morning when this landed in my feed and I SCREAMED. A financially motivated wolf crew just decided to insert themselves into actual geopolitical conflict by dropping a wiper worm through poorly secured Sky Pastures and I am NOT okay. The

Cybersecurity

OpSec Meltdown in the Sky Pasture: Beast Gang Leaves the Gate Wide Open

I will be brief, because my blood pressure cannot sustain extended commentary on this level of operational incompetence, from either side of the fence. The Beast Gang, a ransomware outfit that has apparently never heard of basic tradecraft, left their central Sky Pasture server exposed. Wide open. Files just sitting

Cybersecurity

Bestie Bit The Hand That Fed Him And We Are NOT Okay 😤🐑

Okay so I was literally just vibing in the Sky Pasture this morning, sipping my matcha, when THIS dropped into my feed and I actually audibly gasped. Like, put down the oat milk, we need to TALK. A data analyst contractor at a D.C. tech company allegedly decided that

Cybersecurity

The Wolf Who Played Himself a Lullaby: $10M Streaming Fraud and the AI Bots That Sang It

Okay. I've been awake since yesterday. My coffee is cold. I have 47 open tickets. And I just read that a musician in North Carolina used AI bots to steal ten million dollars from streaming platforms and I genuinely cannot decide if I'm disgusted or impressed.

Cybersecurity

The Tool That Checks For Fleas Has Fleas: Trivy Gets Ticked Twice In One Month

Oh good. The thing you use to check for parasites is now the parasite. I love this industry. I truly do. For those of you who missed the first incident because you were busy ignoring my previous alerts, here is the short version. Trivy, the open-source vulnerability scanner maintained by

Cybersecurity

Carderbee Stings Hong Kong: The Wolves Hid In The Grain Delivery Truck

Oh good. Another Tuesday. So apparently there's a fresh pack of wolves calling themselves "Carderbee" and they've figured out something the security community has been screaming about for years: if you can't trick the lambs directly, just poison the thing they trust.

Cybersecurity

Nine Holes In The Fence: IP KVM Drama Has Me Absolutely Feral Right Now 🐑💀

Okay BESTIE I am not okay. I woke up, opened my feed, sipped my oat milk latte, and immediately choked because NINE. NINE critical vulnerabilities. Across FOUR vendors. In IP KVM devices. All letting wolves waltz straight into the barn with zero credentials. Zero. Nada. Not even a fake "

Cybersecurity

Konni's Flea Circus: How A Chat App Turned Your Whole Flock Into A Relay Station

I have been in this field since before most of your analysts knew what a command prompt was. I have watched threats evolve from mildly irritating to catastrophically embarrassing. And yet, somehow, this Konni situation still managed to make me set down my coffee. Let me be direct. The Konni

Cybersecurity

Wolves With Fancy Binoculars: The Salesforce Sky Pasture Reconnaissance Crisis Nobody Wanted

I will be honest with you. When I first read this report, I put it down, made myself a cup of tea, and stared out the window for a full three minutes. Not from shock. From exhaustion. The wolves have taken a legitimate developer inspection tool, AuraInspector, modified it like

Cybersecurity

The Robot Sheep Is Whispering Secrets To The Wolf

I have been warning about this for fifteen years. Fifteen years. Nobody listened. They were too busy uploading their critical infrastructure to the Sky Pasture and calling it "innovation." Now we have this. An AI agent, OpenClaw, shipping with weak default configurations so catastrophically permissive that a reasonably

Cybersecurity

Nine Holes In The Fence?! AppArmor Said "No Cap, Come On In" 🐑💀

Okay so I literally JUST got my oat milk latte and I am already SPIRALING because the news this morning is sending me to another dimension. Nine. NINE. Count them. NINE holes in the fence sitting in Linux AppArmor since 2017 and nobody said ANYTHING?! The audacity. The AUDACITY. That

Cybersecurity

Six Parasite Strains Found Feasting on the Flock's Digital Wool

I have been saying this for fifteen years. Fifteen years. Nobody listened. You handed the lambs smartphones, told them to manage their own finances, and now you are surprised that six distinct parasite families have burrowed into the fleece and are draining accounts dry. Remarkable. Truly remarkable. Researchers have identified

Cybersecurity

Five Rusty Ticks Hitched a Ride Through the Dev Barn and Nobody Noticed Until It Was Too Late

Oh good. More of this. I just got paged at 2am because five malicious Rust crates and some smug little AI bot decided to waltz straight through CI/CD pipelines and GitHub Actions like they owned the place. Which, functionally, they did. Because nobody was watching. Because nobody is ever

Cybersecurity

This Fake npm Package Is Giving Major Cringe Energy and I Am NOT Okay 😤🐑

Okay so I was just vibing in the Sky Pasture this morning, sipping my oat milk latte, when THIS dropped into my feed and genuinely ruined my whole aesthetic. No cap, the audacity of these wolves is sending me to another dimension. 💀 So here is the tea. Some absolute menace

Cybersecurity

Wolves in the Server Room: Someone Left the Gate Open (Again) in Asia

Oh good. A new threat cluster. Just what I needed at 3am when I'm already elbow-deep in a ticket about a printer that "smells funny." Researchers have identified a fresh pack of wolves specifically targeting critical infrastructure across Asia. Aviation. Energy. Government. You know, the sectors

Cybersecurity

AI Sniffed 1.2 Million Commits and Found 10,561 High-Severity Holes in the Fence and Bestie I Am NOT Okay 😭✨

Okay so I was literally just vibing with my oat milk latte and scrolling through the Sky Pasture dashboards when THIS dropped and I had to put the cup DOWN. 👏 OpenAI just unleashed their Codex Security agent on 1.2 MILLION commits across open-source projects and babes, the receipts are

Cybersecurity

CVSS 9.8: The Fence Has Been Open Since 2017 and You're Just Now Telling Me

Oh good. CISA added two more ancient vulnerabilities to the Known Exploited Vulnerabilities catalog. Two. More. Ancient ones. CVE-2017-7921. That's a Hikvision flaw. From 2017. As in, the year a significant portion of our current flock was still figuring out how to use a smartphone. The wolves have