ShinyHunters Just Defaced FBI Jobs dot Gov With A Pokémon And I Cannot 💀
Okay BESTIE. I need everyone to stop scrolling because the vibes today are absolutely unhinged and I am NOT okay.
ShinyHunters, those absolutely feral wolves, just waltzed onto FBIjobs.gov and swapped out the official agency images with a POKÉMON. Their mascot Pokémon. On the FBI's website. The federal bureau of investigation dot gov. I am going to pass away.
No cap, this is the most chaotic, unhinged, cringe energy I have witnessed in my entire career at EwePhoria. The flock is out here trying to apply for government jobs and instead they're getting greeted by cartoon creatures. Iconic? Maybe. Embarrassing for literally everyone involved? ABSOLUTELY.
The wolves basically walked through what sounds like a hole in the fence on a site that is supposed to represent the most powerful law enforcement agency on the planet. And their victory lap was... a Pokémon swap. Sir. SIR. 🐺
I have so many questions. Who patched this fence last? When was the last shearing cycle? Were the Shepherds at the FBI too busy having their quarterly synergy meetings to notice their jobs portal was giving "children's cartoon" energy? The cringe is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
And listen, I love the Sky Pasture as much as the next cloud evangelist, but if your web infrastructure is letting wolves redecorate your homepage like it's a Tumblr blog from 2011, we need to have a serious conversation about your digital vibes. This is NOT the aesthetic. #NoVibesDetected #CloudFail
The FBI says they're investigating. Bestie, you ARE the investigation. 💅
🐑 Remediation: Fix Your Fence, Slay Your Security
Okay real talk for two seconds because the flock DESERVES better:
Shear your systems regularly. Unpatched content management vulnerabilities are how wolves redecorate your federal websites with Pokémon. Not cute. Apply those ointments on a schedule, no excuses.
Lock down your admin access. Multi-factor authentication on anything public-facing is the bare minimum, lambs. The bare. minimum.
Monitor for unauthorized changes. File integrity monitoring exists! Use it! If someone is swapping your images for cartoon characters, you should know in SECONDS not news cycles.
Tell your Shepherds. Yes, the useless ones in the corner office. They need to fund this stuff. Show them this article. Tell Grace sent you.
The Sky Pasture rewards those who secure their gates. It punishes everyone else with Pokémon defacements and extremely embarrassing headlines. #ElectricFenceOrBust #SheepSafe
Stay snatched and stay patched, the flock deserves it 🐑✨
Original Report: https://therecord.media/fbi-investigating-alleged-shinyhunters-job-site-breach